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영어 에세이 첨삭 (문장 구조 변경)

오바곰
  • 작성일
    2024-05-24
  • 조회수
    723
뜻만 맞도록 몇 문장들 구조? 이런것만 바꿔주세요 ㅜ 학교에서 AI가 썼다고 GPTZERO 썼을때 엄청 높은 확률로 잡혔는데 안 썼는데 계속해서 그렇게 나와서 어떻게 수정을 해야할지 모르겠어요 ㅜㅜ (해외 국제학교 재학 중이라 단어를 쉽게 바꾸거나 하실 필요 없이 그냥 뜻만 같도록 에세이의 일부분을 좀 변경해주세요) The word "inevitable" is used in many ways to deepen the understanding of the race gap. First, the word suggests that the ongoing cross-race judgment gap is not a one-off case, but rather a deep-rooted problem that the Supreme Court ultimately faces within the criminal justice system. Repeated use of the word "almost" emphasizes that this is a structural problem caused by a wide and repetitive race gap. This means that these gaps are spread across all crime categories and affect all black people. This interpretation highlights the fundamental problems of realism, helplessness, and inequality, and emphasizes that bridging these gaps is not an option, but an essential task for a just society. Using statistics of 22% that black defendants are far more likely to be put to death, readers further emphasize that black people are impossible and have various prejudices, even though they have escaped slavery to this day. In addition, the juxtaposition through the stark contrast between these statistics and what is described as "inevitable" highlights the extremes of penal discrimination against black defendants. The irony lies in the fact that a legal system designed to uphold justice and fairness acknowledges the seemingly unavoidable presence of bias. This irony spotlights stark societal inequalities and prompts readers to confront the disparity between societal expectations and the system's actual performance. From a legal standpoint, including the Supreme Court's, one could argue that the system is not solely responsible for creating this gap. Variations in practices among U.S. states, stronger enforcement in areas with a higher Black population, and socioeconomic disparities could contribute to the exacerbation of this gap. Moreover, the lasting impact of slavery on the environment in which Black individuals grow up may result in fewer opportunities and resources, including access to legal representation, which can hinder sentence reduction. Therefore, the Supreme Court's acknowledgment of this gap as "inevitable" might be an acknowledgment of these complex factors. ​ The interpretation of the term "inevitable" carries profound implications within the broader context of the criminal justice system. Comprehending the inherent complexities of this word choice has far-reaching implications for both readers and society as a whole. By employing this term, readers are confronted with the notion that racial bias is deemed "inevitable" within this system, revealing a disheartening reality. This underscores the urgent need for reform within the criminal justice system, leading readers to feel profoundly uneasy and prompting them to reevaluate their faith in the system's ability to deliver impartial justice. Furthermore, it makes the reader think twice about how black people are being treated and their history at the present time after they have emerged from slavery.  The "inevitable" also highlights the unavoidable challenges and complexities surrounding racial disparities, serving as a stark reminder that bridging these gaps is neither a straightforward nor linear task. Ultimately, the interpretation of "inevitable" arouses readers' empathy by revealing a stark dissonance between ideals and reality within the criminal justice system. It raises questions about the system's effectiveness and our role as advocates for justice and equality. This word choice is pivotal because "inevitable" no longer symbolizes racial prejudice within the criminal justice system but serves as a catalyst for change, urging readers to support a more equitable and just society. Understanding this choice of words, its meaning, and the urgency it conveys is a crucial step toward addressing the persistent racial disparities that continue to define our criminal justice system.

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영어 에세이 첨삭 (문장 구조 변경) : 창업정보 포털 오늘의창업