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영어 자소서 첨삭 급합니다 ㅠㅠㅠ

또야
  • 작성일
    2024-05-25
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    3,674
질문은 왜 이 대학에서 공부하고 싶은지와 왜 residential college 의 학생이 되고 싶냐 였는데요, 이 글이 질문에 대한 답을 잘 담으면서 제 얘기까지 아우르고 있는지 객관적인 평가가 필요한데 데드라인이 얼마 안남아 주변에 미처 물어보지 못해 이곳에 조금이나마 도움을 청합니다 ㅠㅠ 혹시 문법적으로 어색하거나 내용이 이해가 안가는 부분이 있으면 짚어주시면 감사하겠습니다! 모든 조언 환영합니다 Korea, the country where I've been living for 21 years, is well known for its astonishing and unique history of development. Industries and economy had rapidly grown, so-called ‘Miracle of Han river'. As a part of this dynamic society, I've been questioning about what we missed during our rapid development and what we need for the better. My curiosity in development naturally led me to choose Development studies in my university. I learned current development agendas and project planning, also did case studies on Third world countries. I was highly motivated by ‘Environmental sustainability' and ‘Combating diseases', which seemed the most essential for human life and sustainable society. However, I wanted to focus on one issue and specify what I want to study further. Therefore, I tried to get the basic knowledge and grasp current trend of those issues before I choose. First of all, I took classes related to what I wanted to know; environmental engineering and energy class, general biology for engineering students, for basic knowledge. Additionally, I joined in university's academic club and planned out a workshop on ‘Sustainable environment and Human' and focused on ‘How to pursue environmentally successful society'. It was inspiring to hear the real story about current energy development from a professional researcher and meet other field workers from various sectors pursuing the same goal, sustainable environment. Since I wanted to deepen my knowledge in ‘Combating diseases as well, I took general biology class for engineering students. Immunology system and mechanism of challenging diseases such as AIDS and HIV sounded very interesting to me. Discussing real-life situations such as AIDS infection or impact of mutated influenza viruses helped me understand complex problems lying in health issues. It was an awakening experience for me to have scientific insight, which is very different from development studies. I realized having scientific insight will contribute a lot in development project planning. In 000, I look forward to organizing my own curriculum combining scientific knowledge and development studies together and search for creative solutions for issues I've mentioned above.  In addition, I believe residential college experience in 000 will enrich my academic years with meaningful memories. The highly international environment in 000 will let me make friends who have similar interests and various cultural backgrounds. Campus facilities are also easy to approach, and it's safer to live inside of university than outside. However, the biggest advantage is that I can have more opportunity to have some conversation with faculty members and colleagues by spending much more time than in ordinary university.  I'm a flexible and potential person with wide range of interests and specific goal. With my strengths and enthusiasm, I regard myself as a suitable student for 000. My ultimate goal is to be a bridge for cooperation between science and public, especially for effective development projects. I strongly believe 000's multidisciplinary academic approach will support my journey to contribute and seek for the better way of development. 

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